Unexpected Changes
by Kayzi
Summary: It was supposed to be Sirius, not Harry. Unfortunately, it did happen. -grins- Rewritten version of 'Just My Luck'
1. Chapter 1

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or Transformers. Body, Mind and Soul.**_

_**One thing I can say is that Plot Bunnies are planning World Domination. They're halfway successful already.**_

_**Beware the Power of the Almighty Plot Bunnies that multiplies every second.**_

**Challenge:**

_**Harry fall through the veil, not Sirius. He landed in the middle of an Autobot vs Decepticon.**_

_**Problem 1: He's a femme**_

_**Problem 2: Courting and Mating Programs**_

_**The 2**__**nd**__** problem only activates when the Cybertronian race is extinct or they are the last of their kind. Well, with the AllSpark destroyed, no more sparklings via AllSpark.**_

_**Problem Answered: Femme can naturally produce a spark.**_

_**The Most Problematic Problem of All: Harry's the **_**First**_**Femme they saw since **_**Centuries of Centuries.**

_**Bad time to arrive, huh?**_

_**Let the courtships begin.**_

Harry was treated to the sensation of never-ending falling.

Normally, people would scream themselves raw in this situation. Unless those people have wings, they're doomed. After all, who wants to fall to their imminent splat of doom?

But apparently, the never-ending sensation of falling to said splat of doom for hours can get boring.

That's what Harry was currently feeling.

Asking what sort of adventure caused accidently did he accidentally bring himself on to?

As always, the year started with…

Another dangerous school year. Check

Teacher's trying to kill you, intentionally or accidently. Check

A group of Death Eaters. Check

Group of Friends. Check

Dumbledore. Check

Voldemort, the Dramatic Dark Lord of Doom. Check

And the main ingredient to the typical life of Harry Potter…

Harry Potter. Check

Oh, and don't forget the cherry on the top. The Prophecy.

With a side dish of New Phoenix Deliver Service…. Actually, it might be Order of the Phoenix. Check

_Phoenix Council sounds more cooler._

Mix everything well and it goes Boom!

Don't worry, it's normal.

Today's Year Story: Blinding Pink Toad of Blinding Doom in school set out in her quest of School Domination with Harry and The Headmaster in her way. Blinding Pink Toad of Doom and Coward Minister set out to destroy them by destroying their reputation cuz they were scared to admit that the big bully of the wizarding world was back. As usual, the wizarding world stupidly again believed their lies with the exception of Harry's friends and Dumbledore's… minions? Snape doesn't count since he already knows because of the Dark Mark of Doom. Well, torture sessions with Pinky, visions from Dark Lord of Doom, mind torture sessions with Slimy, save friend's dad, everything was normal and Harry was alright to let it be and focus more in defeating the Moldyshorts. Until of course said Dark Lord sent him a vision of everyone's all-time favorite godfather held hostage. In a moment of bravery, Harry and his group of friends went on their quest to save the godfather. First, they got rid of the Evil Pinkiness, rode… er flew upon their mighty black skinny steeds, arrived at the Ministry Building of Stupidness, went to the Department of Mysteries and found out it was a trap. GASP! After a wild goose chase, Friends vs Death Munchers, Friends were held hostages, Harry almost lost hope, Phoenix Delivery Service arrived to save the day- Err… Night! Spells, Jinxes and all that crazy whatnots were fired. Then came the battle between Malfoy Sr VS Sirius plus Harry in where they both managed to disarm Malfoy Sr. Unfortunately again, nobody noticed the crazy Bella (n_o, not the one in Twilight, seriously, Sparkling Vampires? That's new. Give them points for originality. No offence to those twilight fans_.) until she threw the killing curse to our favorite Sirius Black who was then pushed by our ever favorite wizard, Harry Potter, who tripped and fell through the veil.

Yes.

Tripped.

No, it was not Harry's fault. It was the Rock's. If the rock was not there then Harry would not trip after pushing the godfather away from the veil only to fall himself. Blame the Rock. Bad Rock. Bad Rocky. The Rock should be punished.

And here he is, falling aimlessly in the darkness.

It was really starting to get boring.

No, he was not dreaming. The slap had HURT! Bad hand!

Wait, wasn't the Veil called the Veil of DEATH?

Reunion!

Mom, Dad, Whazzup? How's Gran and Gramps?

"Mooooomm~ Daaaaad~ Come out come out wherever you aaarrrreeeee~"

If you are weirded out, it's perfectly normal. Who would still have their complete sanity if they had Pedo-Dramatic Dark Lords of Doom after them? Also, add the Dursley's in the blame.

_OH! Mom and Dad are probably playing hide and seek!_

Bright light below him interrupted his bored-crazed thoughts.

_Pretty light~_

…

Did people mention that when you see the white light, they mentioned seeing ground?

No?

…

Damn.

…

…

THUD.

_SON OF A TROLL!_

_I think I cracked a rib._

…

Instead of darkness, bright blue sky filled his vision.

_Black was getting boring anyway._

Feeling no broken bones and only soreness, Harry sat up.

And prayed he didn't.

_Are those boobs? Well, metallic equivalent of boobs since my chest is not flattttt….t…_

…

…

… _WHERE ARE MY BITS__**? MY MANLY BITS? NOOOOOOOOOO**_

Any man would be traumatized to suddenly find their manly parts missing.

As he was panicking and crying on his loss, he failed to notice that he was currently not the same species a few seconds ago.

In anyone's point of view, Harry now looked like a giant Female Robot.

Let's just mention it later, k? No more traumatizing the wizard.

"What the Slag?"

Unfortunately, everyone seems to disagree.

Harry was broken out of his panic and turned his head.

Robots.

Giant Freakin' Robots.

Was it him or did he get higher?

They stared.

She stared.

…

...

…

The staring continued.

…

…

Blink.

"Um… Hi, I come in peace?" Harry said in an unsure voice as he raised a hand in greeting.

Blink.

Blink.

Crash.

…

_I swear I did nothing! I did not kill them! _Harry panicked as all robots fell and crashed to the ground and caused mini earthquakes. Seconds passed by, the robots are still on the ground. Beginning to get impatient and worried, Harry grabbed a stick (which was actually a tree without it's leaves) and poked on in the shoulder.

Poke.

Poke.

Poke.

Poke.

_Pokie Poke Poke Poke- Wha? Since when did I have metallic hands? _Harry paused as he looked at his new limbs. Seeing a clear lake near him, he approached it.

Blink.

He turned to his unconscious companions before looking at his reflection and looking back at the robots again and then to the lake. It took a few moments before he finally noticed the _differences_.

He gave a perfectly normal reaction.

"!"

He screamed.

SINCE WHEN DID HE ASKED FOR A SEX CHANGE?

_**Yep, I re-wrote everything. Sorry for the delay guys but I got stuck and decided to rewrite everything. Hope you don't mind.**_

_**Silver, Marching Out.**_

_**I'm baaaaaaaack~**_


	2. Chapter 2

_**Disclaimer: I do not own the awesome Transformers and Harry Potter. All Hail Rowling and Hasbro.**_

_**There is no timeline.**_

He? She? HE! _He_ gave a mad scramble away from the lake, refusing to believe what he saw. Magic is fine, Dragons are fine, Dark Lords are fine but this! He did not ask to HAVE A SEX CHANGE!

Okay, breathe in, breathe out. Repeat.

…

…

"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!"  
Okay.

Maybe he's just dreaming. Yeah, he probably hit his head or something. Maybe he's in a coma. Or this might be Voldemort's plans to destroy him! He's just probably dreaming. When he wakes up, he'll find himself baaaaack in Hogwarts, in his bed or in the Healing Wing. Right. It was all just a dream. It was all just a dream. It was all just a dream. Just a dream.

Right?

RIGHT?

"NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

His horrified yell echoed throughout the clearing.

He tripped on a boulder, cutting off his panicked running around in circles while waving his arms like a maniac. He immediately curled into a fetal position, hands holding his head while hysterically rocking back and forth.

Okay, he has to calm down first.

…

HOW CAN HE CALM DOWN? HE JUST LOST HIS BITS! HIS PRECIOUS MANLY BITS! THE PARTS HE HAD EVER SINCE HE WAS IN HIS MOTHER'S WOMB!

"This is not happening. This is not happening. This is not happening." He continued to chant.

_You know, you really look like a lunatic right now._

_This is not happening. This is not happening._

_Sorry to burst you're bubble, but it is happening._

_I CAN'T HEAR YOU! Lalalalalalalalala~It's all just a dream. Just a dream._

_Talking to yourself is the first sign of insanity._

_Right! Maybe I've gone insane and this is just all my imagination! Okay, first, we have to make ourselves sane. Repeat after me. I am sane. I am sane. I am sane._

…

_I am sane. I am sane._

_-sigh-Ahem. WILL YOU JUST BLOODY LISTEN TO ME!_

… _I want my mommy…_

_-groans- Okay, first things first, this is all real._

_NOOOOOOOOOOOOO…_

_Second, we're in another dimension._

…_OOOOOOOOOOOOO…_

_Third, you have become another species._

…_OOOOOOOO…_

_Fourth._

…_OOOOOOO…_

…

_...OOOOO…_

…

…_OOOOOOOOOoooo…Shutting up now._

_Thank you. Now, do you want to know what happened or not?_

_Yes. If only to find way to reverse this._

_Sorry to destroy what hope you have left but this is irreversible._

_NOOOOOOOOOOOOoooo… - Sorry_

_Thank you. Now, you see, when you fell through the Veil you really did die. There was still something anchoring your soul over there so only your body was destroyed but not your soul._

_What anchor?_

_The Prophecy._

_The wha?_

_I'll tell you later. Okay where were we? Ah! Since the Veil is only a one way trip, it's impossible for you to go back from here to there so Fate asked this universe's Fate to bring you here. Unfortunately, since your body was destroyed there, they constructed you a new body. Thus, the robotic body you have._

_Why this body?_

_If you were reborn, it would take years for you to grow up but if given this body, well, instant body!_

_Why FEMALE?_

_Apparently, Fate gets bored._

_Why ME?_

_Well, it was supposed to be Sirius since he was supposed to be the one to fall through the Veil and have that body but you interfered. Thus, the reason why you._

… _I hate you. All of you._

_Awww, now don't be like that sweety._

_Who are you anyway?_

_Oh, just a piece of Voldemort you had since you were a baby whose darkness was purified by Primus when we came here and now I am the Voice In Your Head. Really, no one._

…

_Eh? Hey, where did that mallet come from? O-Oi! What do you think you're doing? Put that mallet away before you hurt some-_

BAM!

_GAH!_

_BAM!_

_MERCY!_

_BAM!_

_MY BACK!_

_BAM!_

_SOMEONE SAVE ME FROM THE GENDER CHANGED MANIAC!_

_WHY YOU! __**BAM!BAM!BAM!**_

_CRUNCH.__ I think you broke something…_

_-pants- __**BAM!**_

_-twitches-_

_BAM_

…_Ow…_

"Primus, did anyone shot the bus that ran me over?"

"More like the Decepticon who ran me over"

"SKYWARP! GET THE FRAG OFF ME!"  
"STARSCREAM! I'm sorry-"WHAM

"Slagging Auto-"THUD "STARSCREAM!"

"Please forgive me Lord Megatron!"

BAM

"Is everyone alright?"

"Um… Optimus, we seem to have a situation"

"Lord Megatron, look behind you!"

"…"

"…"

"DECEPTICONS!"

"AUTOBOTS!"

Harry squeaked (yes, squeaked) as the robots finally onlined. As both sides were about to have Giant Death Match no. 2, the squeak gained their attention and they turned to see the femme trying unsuccessfully crawling away.

Silence ensued the whole area as the three sides stared at each other, processors trying to process what they are really seeing.

"What the Frag?"

BAM

"Language, Skywarp"

Harry gave a deer caught in the headlights look, eyes darting forth and back between the two factions.

_I forgot to mention that you are the first femme they saw since hundreds of hundreds of years._

_Aaaanndd?_

_They have this sort of programming that when they're the last of their kind without the AllSpark that will make them court the femme they choose and if the femme accepts, sire her sparklings which equals baby. Since you are the first femme they saw… Guess what?_

_Are you sure the AllSpark is destroyed?_

_Yes. One Hundred percent sure._

_What was that word again? Ah, right, SLAG._

Somewhere in her mind, she was sure that Sirius (if he was knew) and James Potter were cheering his son-turned-female-alien-robot on having his own harem while Lily was wiping her tears of joy and pride for her son-turned-femme growing up, finding love and then giving her grandbabies-er… grandsparklings.

Maybe he should start running away and find an uninhabited island in the middle of nowhere to hide and find a way to return back to the wizarding world even if there is no way?

**System Emergency Shutdown in 10 seconds**

Wha?

Emergency Shutdown?

…

…Slag

_BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!_

Darkness.

_**Well~ You know the usual!**_

_**Review=Motivation=Faster Updates!**_

_**Silver**_

_**Query: Should I continue or let someone adopt this? I'm loosing courage T^T**_


	3. Chapter 3

_**Sorry for the long wait!**_

_**Disclaimer: See chapter 1**_

* * *

Giggling. All she can hear was that giggling.

"_Mommy~"_

"_Momma~"_

"_Mum~"_

"_Mother~"_

"_Mama~"_

"_Kaa-chan~"_

"_Ma~"_

"_Come out come out wherever you are~"_

"_Let's play!"_

"_Sooner or later we'll find you~"_

The giggling was really starting to get creepy.

"_Come on now kaa-chan! Don't be a spoilsport!"_

"_Join us!"_

"_Play with us!"_

"_**BOO!"**_

**CRASH!**

"GET AWAY FROM MY MEDICAL EQUIPMENTS!"

"SLAGGING CON!"

"YOU PIT SPAWN-"

"THAT'S ENOUGH!"

"IRONHIDE! WATCH WHERE YOU'RE POINTING THOSE CANNONS!"

Harry immediately sat up, woken from the noise and turned to see none other than pure chaos caused by the robots (_Mechs,_ a voice in her head corrected, _male robots, mechs_).

Wait.

They're fighting!

Which means they're distracted!

YAY!

"You volunteering as my target practice, you decepticon punk?"

"Do not touch those! Those are fragile!"

"Stay away from me, Autoscum!"

CRASH!

"I'll rip you into pieces!"

"Junkyard drone!"

"Piece of Scrap!"

"Rust Bucket!"

"I'm going to kick your aft!"

BOOM!

"THAT'S ENOUGH!"

"I'll tear you into pieces!"

CRASH!

BAM!

"YOU SLAGGER!" BAM! CRASH!

"WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOING!"

"LOOK OUT!"

Now, let's use ninja-sneak-out technique and sneak away from here!

It was quite a comical sight to see a femme tip-toeing quietly towards the door while mechs fought each other or tried to calm their companions around her. Harry would have succeeded had he not tripped. Again.

The fighting froze and silence ensued as all eyes _(Optics,_ the voice again) turned to her.

She froze as well before awkwardly smiling "Hi?" she said shakily.

A yellow truck suddenly broke from the group and approached her- HIM! Him. He had the same feel as Madam Pomfrey. As soon as he reached he—HIM! A blue light scanned her.

"Hmm… Everything is fine and you are functioning properly." The mech commented as he touched her- HIS arm and examined it "Though you seem quiet to have some scratches and dents on your armor, I assume that it was caused by your fall. Luckily, there are no major damages"

Harry just continued to stare at him. Exactly like Madam Pomfrey, he thought as the yellow mech helped her stand.

"So, what's a femme like you doing in this part of the country?" a purple jet? said as he slid next to her with an unmistakable flirting look on his face.

Harry turned to stare at him, mentally horrified. Didn't Voldemort-in-his-head said something about a program or whatever that is?

_Hey, I told you I'm now a part of you! But just call me Vi._

Harry ignored the now dubbed Vi as he continued to stare at the mech.

"You look familiar. Have I seen you before? Oh yeah! I remember! You look like my NEXT Girlfriend!"

Harry continued to be horrified.

"If I said you have a nice body would you hold it against me?"

The blue jet sighed and grabbed the blue one away from him "Idiot,"

Purple started to get desperate and in a chibi way, he wailed while flaying his arms and legs "FOR THE LOVE OF PRIMUS! HAVE ME DATTEBAYO~!"

WHAM! The red one hit him over the head "Shut the slag up, Skywarp! You're scaring her!"

Everyone turned from the now confirmed insane seeker to the femme or where she is supposed to be seeing that the femme had sought refugee and made Ratchet her temporary shield from the craziness. The femme tried to hide harder when all the attention was focused on her.

Ratchet, seeing the uncomfortable femme, threw a wrench which perfectly hit the purple seeker and knocked him unconscious. The medic gave them the usual scary medic glare and pointed at the door "OUT!"

"But-"

He took out his infamous wrench.

"**OUT!**"

There was a sudden mad scramble as every mech ran to the world outside where the medic resides, leaving the femme and medic alone.

The medic turned his head and looked at her, concerned "Are you alright?"

Harry slowly nodded._ Note to self: Never mess with the medic. They're scarier._

"Now, let's get you back to the berth and get some rest. You may not be injured but you were energon deprived awhile ago"

"Where am I?" Harry asked, hoping to distract the medic and escape.

"The Med Bay…"

The wizard turned femme turned and curiously look at what got the medic distracted and winced.

Medical Equipments.

Destroyed.

There are two things you have to avoid pissing off a medic: Don't do or try to escape as long as you are their patient and second, don't mess with their medical equipments.

The silence was deafening. Crickets dared not to chirp in fear that the wrath of the medic will be turned upon them.

The pure loathing aura surrounding the medic was enough for even Voldemort to cry for his mommy. With an tight smile, Ratchet turned to the femme and politely excused himself.

On his way out, he grabbed a LARGE wrench while chuckling evilly.

Seriously, it creeped her out.

"Hey, Ratchet, what 'cha goin' to do wit' dat-"

CLANG!

"RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!"

"MEDIC IN WARPATH!"

"RUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNN!"

"AAAHHHHHH!"

Remember, never EVER mess with a medic.

_**-snickers- Hope you liked that.**_

_**Those poor unfortunate souls~**_

_**Well~ I want to end it here but, oh well**_

It was quiet easy to avoid the questions. Loss of Memory gives the excuse for his lack of common knowledge.

**Tell them who she really is**

"_Ratchet, call the Mental Institute. They seem to have a patient who escaped"_

_Or_

"_She's delusional. Probably hit her head or something right TC?"_

_Or_

"_She's a witch! BURN HER!" cue pitchforks and fire_

_or_

"_Oh, really?" BAM! "You right in the head now?"_

_Or_

"_KILL HER!""She probably brewed a love potion!"_

**Run Away**

_They will eventually find her_

**Act fine and like one of them**

"_So, where did you live in Cybertron?" "Huh?"_

"_What do you thing of the AllSpark destroyed?" "What is an AllSpark?"_

The Memory Loss was the most favorable and easy choice. It also helped that they saw her fall head first (the injuries magic healed instinctively), which they concluded gave the memory loss. Ratchet tried to scan her for more injuries but it kept glitching and for the 37th time, he gave up. Harry concluded that the scanners worked fine when he arrived was because of his magic adjusting to the new and foreign body. Without a wand, Harry gave a few tries in wandless magic which resulted in either failure or utterly complete destruction of glasses and technology.

Upon the news of the femme's loss of memory reached everyone's ears and audios, a certain trigger happy specialist took it into his own hands in ambushing the femme and kidnapping her to the training area before giving helping her activate her cannons.

Everyone learned to avoid the Autobot's Training Area 2 every time they hear the gleeful cackling followed by explosions when _ nearly lost his head.

If Ironhide could, he would wipe his tears of pride (which he would not admit, EVER even under the pain of torture) at his newly found apprentice.

Somewhere, in another universe, a certain pink humanoid toad and a Mr Dark and Bald Lord shivered for unknown reasons before shrugging it off.

Relations between the Autobots and Decepticons were fine, with an occasional suspicion between the factions, especially the wary humans. War was put on hold, in favor of protecting the amnesiatic femme. Harry slowly learned to live the life of Cybertronian, still stubborn to accept his gender change. As far as he knows he is still a man through and through, even when lacking certain bits. He was relieved though, when some Cybertronians' Mating Program had eased nearly to the point where they can think to the point beyond mating, had their programs deciding they were not compatible. Ironhide, for example, had shrugged off the effects of the Program after a few hours the next day, became his kick-ass Uncle. Megatron, who feels like an overprotective-older-brother-but-won't-admit-it, took it upon himself to teach him tactics. Ratchet was the family doctor slash uncle that can be grumpy sometimes, taught him basic Cybertronian repairs incase Harry gets damaged. Barricade, cool older brother, taught her the fine arts of racing with the help of her cute little bro (even though he is older), Bumblebee. The Seeker Trine Starscream, Thundercracker and Skywarp let her join in the trine and taught her the joys of flying with the latter flirting and glomping every time they meet. Optimus took it upon himself on teaching the femme on history before the war. The Lambo twins, Sunny (don't call me that) and Sides, were like the cousins who sometimes dragged him in joining their pranking.

The two were the reason why Harry is banned from drinking High Grade energon with them.

How were they supposed to know that the femme has low tolerance of High Grade energon?

The knowledge of the femme's low tolerance was the result of 9 mechs under Ratchet's care for a week, two 1 meter craters, three 2 meter craters, what was one the training ground 1, and the ruins of the cafeteria. It took Ironhide, Optimus, Megatron, the seeker trine, Barricade, Wheeljack and Ratchet to detain the drunken femme and knock her out while Bumblebee and Jolt helped the humans escape.

Both Autobots and Decpeticons and the humans vowed to never let the femme drink High Grade energon unless absolutely necessary and in the time of the end of the world.

After a week, Harry then accidentally mistook the hidden special High Grade energon made by the twins for a normal one.

Everyone was forced to move out to Diego Garcia earlier than expected.

The crate that was once their base was reported to the civilians of an accidental bomb explosion combined with a gas explosion.

So for the human-wizard-turned-alien-femme-while-denying-his-change-of-gender, the newly named Firebolt decided life was fine and normal.

Or what he would consider normal as the only femme triple-charger on Earth.

* * *

_**Yep, I changed Harry from Seeker to triple charger. ^^**_

_**Alas, the updates will be slower**_


End file.
